Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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