So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
