he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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