Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
