Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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