i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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