i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
