I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
