My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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