Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
