Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
