Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
