his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well I just put wine in my tea
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
