dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
