You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Boobs speak an international language.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
