No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
