I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
