He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
