but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
