Its about making memories worth repressing
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
