omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Don't make out with my wife yet
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
