btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
