my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
