soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
