This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
