you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
