i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As shirtless as possible
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
