Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
