ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
