It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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