Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she peed on how many people?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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