I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize