I could have mohawked her pubes.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
