Buhtt sex?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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