Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
