I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
