let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
