is your mom at the bar?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
