'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
