A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
