I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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