I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
