i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
