It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
