I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
