and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
