my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
