In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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