she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
