first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
