my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize