babies were throwing up all over the place
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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