dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
