My underwear smells like fireworks.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
