Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
