y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
