she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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