she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's just like the Real World with babies
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize