i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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