yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
