hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Me too!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
