cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
